So I hit a little success landmark today. I now have 200 ounces of milk in the freezer. Sounds so impressive, until you think about the fact that the amount of milk that is taking up all that space in the freezer would only sustain E for just over a week. So I don't plan on letting up pumping anytime soon. In honor of this accomplishment, I thought I'd post about breastfeeding. No pictures in this post...
I will say, that on a normal day, when I'm with E all day, I only pump in the morning. Since she sleeps so well, I typically wake up "bursting at the seams." So I pump one side, and she nurses from the other. Works well, and I can usually get about 4oz a day to freeze. And I really, really hate pumping any other time. Being away from her and pumping SUCKS. I totally get why people give up breastfeeding when they return to work. Not only do you not get to look at those little milk-drunk eyes looking up at me, I also get, like, nada. Replacing feeding sessions with pumping, I sometimes only get, like, an ounce.
This brings me to why I chose to breastfeed in the first place. I'm a chemist. I understand the health benefits of breastmilk. That was point number 1. Point number 2: I'm cheap, and the thought of paying for something I could get for free makes me crazy. Particularly when I'm not working and need to be more careful about how we spend money than we have in the past with 2 full incomes.
I totally underestimated the psychological/bonding aspect of things. I love, love, LOVE our snuggle time. And to be honest, I LOVE the fact that when we're visiting other people, I get to sneak away every couple hours, just the two of us, to feed her. I think we both need that.
And an unexpected psychological advantage, for me, is that breastfeeding is going really well. So far (knock on wood) it has been easy, mostly pain-free, and E has been gaining weight like a champ. So for the first time in this journey of getting pregnant-staying pregnant-having a baby, I feel like my body is doing something like it should. I don't need a ton of interventions. I don't need to give myself shots in the stomach for this. My body can do this, on its own, just like it was made to do. And mentally, I need that.
I've got to credit the lactation consultants, both in the hospital and the ones that lead the support group I go to a couple times a month. They are WONDERFUL and so unbelievably helpful and supportive.
I found this blog awhile ago, and still read it multiple times a week. Really, it explains things from every angle SO perfectly. It really should be required first day reading for any new mom:
http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/
My ultimate goal is to breastfeed to a year, but, of course, I think that making it two months is a huge success in itself!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
8 weeks
Dear Ellie-bean,
Today marks 8 weeks since our lives were changed forever by your arrival. This morning I had trouble going back to sleep after you nursed because all I wanted to do was lay awake and watch you. That has not changed in the last 8 weeks, it is still my favorite thing to do, and has been since 8 weeks ago when I could not sleep even after being up about 36 hours straight by the time we got to our room in the hospital. I hope I NEVER get tired of that. You are so amazing, and I feel like if I stare at you, maybe I will finally be able to convince myself that I'm not just dreaming!
You've had a busy week, as usual. Last Saturday, we went to the pumpkin patch to pick out your first pumpkin. It was cold, but I think you liked it. We picked out a pumpkin that was bigger than you were...which would lead to other important weekly events...
Today marks 8 weeks since our lives were changed forever by your arrival. This morning I had trouble going back to sleep after you nursed because all I wanted to do was lay awake and watch you. That has not changed in the last 8 weeks, it is still my favorite thing to do, and has been since 8 weeks ago when I could not sleep even after being up about 36 hours straight by the time we got to our room in the hospital. I hope I NEVER get tired of that. You are so amazing, and I feel like if I stare at you, maybe I will finally be able to convince myself that I'm not just dreaming!
You've had a busy week, as usual. Last Saturday, we went to the pumpkin patch to pick out your first pumpkin. It was cold, but I think you liked it. We picked out a pumpkin that was bigger than you were...which would lead to other important weekly events...
Sunday we went to church, as usual. You were great this week, you slept right through everything. You were a total cuddlebug all day, and let me tell you, I LOVED it. I always tell you how lucky I am to be your mommy, but see? Look how sweet you are to me? I am such, SUCH a lucky Mommy!!!
Tuesday night we carved your first pumpkin. Well, kinda. We hollowed it out, in order to put you in it and take some pictures. You were not happy with that arrangement. Your brother was trying to save you, though. See? This is what the photo shoot really looked like:
BUT...we figured out that blow driers are magic for you. The combo of the hot, plus the wind (Daddy found out you LOVE wind in your face...he's saying you're bound to be a Cobra girl!) plus the noise settled you down perfectly, and so we were able to get THE perfect picture of our little pumpkin:
You are soooo beautiful, little baby bean! Even though you weren't the most excited about being in a pumpkin, I think the result was worth it. Don't worry, I will pay for your therapy.
You are still absolutely amazed with the birds on your bouncy chair and swing. You love to coo and giggle at them. You've been napping in your swing pretty well in the mornings. I turned the swing around so it is looking out the back window and you love that. Between the birds and the window, you are one happy little Ellie!
Speaking of happy little Ellie, you have been smiling and giggling SO much more lately. I love it! Your little expressions just crack me up! How could I have a bad day with this baby girl grinning at me?
Thursday was an interesting day. We went to Michigan City to shop with Grandma Zaher. We hit up all the usual places, and got you even MORE cute clothes (yes, your wardrobe is out of control!). We managed to nurse in public for the first time, and you were a champ! You didn't mind being uder the blanket, and cozied right up to me. But then on the way home, we found out that we had a flat tire. We were hearing funny noises and pulled off into the Blue Chip Casino parking lot to check. Sure enough, totally flat. While we waited for your Daddy to come save us and change the tire, we went into the casino to get a bite to eat since we were starving. Yup, under 2 months old and you've already been to the casino. What an experience!
You and your brother are getting along so well. He tries so hard to play with you when we are on the floor. He's going to be very excited when you're big enough to really play. But for now, he brings a toy over to play by himself near you, and sniffs you a lot to tickle you with his fur. This week, he even tried to hold your little hand with his paw. You two just make my heart melt. I love you both so, so much!
Today is going to be a tough day, as I'm going to be away from you for most of the day. I absolutely hate being away from you, even when you're cranky. We'll survive, we'll just have to plan on having lots of Mommy and Ellie snuggle time on Monday. That is my favorite thing to do anyways, so it shouldn't be too hard to convince me to do that.
I love you so much, little princess. You are such a special girl. The last 8 weeks have been amazing, and your Daddy and I are just so, so blessed by you every single day!
I love you SO much,
Mommy
Saturday, October 20, 2012
7 weeks
Dear little Ellie-bean,
Every week when I write these letters I get a little teary-eyed, thinking of how fast time is going and how fast you are growing up. It still feels like yesterday that we were waiting in the hospital right now for your first visitors. And yet, I am more in love with you than I was on your birthday. You are such an amazing, special little girl and I am the luckiest person in the world that I get to wake up to your smiles and coos every single day. I love, love, LOVE being your mom.
This week, I wasn't feeling very well, so we laid low for the most part. We did spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa Zaher AND Aunt Lori. But, I didn't take you to the gym, so you missed cuddling with some of your favorite people there.
You are getting much easier for me to calm down! You have been taking good naps for me, mostly in your bouncy seat or swing, especially now that I feel like I'm learning your "cues" and what you like and don't like. So I appreciate not having to fight you on naps. That is nice! You love yelling at those birds in your swing and bouncer too. Unfortunately, they don't listen too well!
One thing I learned that is very important is to spend some time each day, just me and you, cuddling up a storm. In the middle of this week, I had gotten so pre-occupied with catching up on housework and emails and such, that I didn't spend as much time cuddling with you as I should, and it made me very frustrated with some of your neediness, when I know that all you really wanted was some time snuggling with Mommy. I promise to never, ever forgo cuddle time with you again. Everything else can certainly wait.
You are an amazing little girl, Ellie, and I think you get cuter and cuter every day. Your big smile when you see me or I pick you up just melts my heart. Happy 7 week birthday, princess!
I love you, Ellie-bean!
Mommy
Every week when I write these letters I get a little teary-eyed, thinking of how fast time is going and how fast you are growing up. It still feels like yesterday that we were waiting in the hospital right now for your first visitors. And yet, I am more in love with you than I was on your birthday. You are such an amazing, special little girl and I am the luckiest person in the world that I get to wake up to your smiles and coos every single day. I love, love, LOVE being your mom.
This week, I wasn't feeling very well, so we laid low for the most part. We did spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa Zaher AND Aunt Lori. But, I didn't take you to the gym, so you missed cuddling with some of your favorite people there.
You are getting much easier for me to calm down! You have been taking good naps for me, mostly in your bouncy seat or swing, especially now that I feel like I'm learning your "cues" and what you like and don't like. So I appreciate not having to fight you on naps. That is nice! You love yelling at those birds in your swing and bouncer too. Unfortunately, they don't listen too well!
One thing I learned that is very important is to spend some time each day, just me and you, cuddling up a storm. In the middle of this week, I had gotten so pre-occupied with catching up on housework and emails and such, that I didn't spend as much time cuddling with you as I should, and it made me very frustrated with some of your neediness, when I know that all you really wanted was some time snuggling with Mommy. I promise to never, ever forgo cuddle time with you again. Everything else can certainly wait.
You are an amazing little girl, Ellie, and I think you get cuter and cuter every day. Your big smile when you see me or I pick you up just melts my heart. Happy 7 week birthday, princess!
I love you, Ellie-bean!
Mommy
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
6 weeks (a little late - but with extra pics!)
Dear Ellie-bean,
Today you are 6 weeks and 3 days old! I've been so good about writing to you on your weekly birthday, but this weekend was NUTS and this is the first time I've gotten to write to you.
Like I said, the week was pretty busy. Last Saturday we stayed home and watched the Notre Dame game. We were worried it was going to be a tough game, but luckily, their little cheerleader helped them to go 5-0. Yay! You and I were both excited. Well, I was excited, and by the end of the game you were asleep.
On Sunday it was off to church as usual. This time, though, Grandma and Grandpa Mason came with us. You were pretty fussy and did not want to sit in church, so Mommy didn't get to either. But in good news, you're now fitting into your 0-3 clothes. That means that even when you are fussy, you are SO adorable. See?
Today you are 6 weeks and 3 days old! I've been so good about writing to you on your weekly birthday, but this weekend was NUTS and this is the first time I've gotten to write to you.
Like I said, the week was pretty busy. Last Saturday we stayed home and watched the Notre Dame game. We were worried it was going to be a tough game, but luckily, their little cheerleader helped them to go 5-0. Yay! You and I were both excited. Well, I was excited, and by the end of the game you were asleep.
On Sunday it was off to church as usual. This time, though, Grandma and Grandpa Mason came with us. You were pretty fussy and did not want to sit in church, so Mommy didn't get to either. But in good news, you're now fitting into your 0-3 clothes. That means that even when you are fussy, you are SO adorable. See?
The rest of the week was much more low-key. You had been pretty fussy in the evenings, which was driving your Dad and I absolutely bonkers. Luckily, we're a really good team, so we're muddling through. Wednesday was a rough day. We had been doing so good breastfeeding and then all of a sudden, it hurt a LOT. That part was not so good! Thursday, you had a big morning. Just like me and your Grandmother, you love a good sale, and Gymboree had an awesome sale, so off we went! We went a little crazy and now you will be the best dressed kiddo well into your toddler years. It is just too much fun to dress you up! Then we went to have lunch. Well, I had lunch, and Grandma just held and cuddled you and took her lunch to-go.
After shopping, we rushed over to the breastfeeding group. They checked us both out, and said they didn't think it was a major problem, just that maybe we both got lazy about your latch. Good news, since we had a big weekend ahead of us. Oh, and they measured you at 8 pounds 7 ounces. Go baby bean! I hate that you are getting so big so fast, but I love that you are thriving and that we are doing so well breastfeeding. I feel like FINALLY my body is doing what it is "made" to do, since many other parts of getting you here were not easy in the least!
The weekend marked your first big road trip to Wisconsin. You were SO good in the car. No major crying at all. We all appreciated that. We stopped at Pat and Irene's house first and had lunch with them, and then headed over to meet your Great Grandma. You got a little fussy at her house, but calmed down when we went over to Susie and Dan's house. Everyone was there and they were so excited to meet you. Great Grandma, Susie, Dan, Aimee, Joey, Maddie, Carter, Pete, Beth, Dane, and of course Grandma and Grandpa were all there and you did not get put down all day. You were great, though, and gave everyone lots of cuddles. Everyone absolutely loved you as usual. Then we went and spent your first night in a hotel. You were a touch more fussy going to bed, but not too bad at all.
On the way home we stopped by Michigan City, and the Gymboree outlet. Grandma and I started shopping like the crazies we are, but then Grandpa even got in on the action, asking the sales associates to get other sizes. What? Grandpa like shopping? Only for you, little princess!
So that brings us to the start of this week. We laid low yesterday because we were all so tired. Truffle was too, since he stayed with all the puppies across the street this weekend. We had lots of naps, and lots of snuggles.
Being your Mommy is still the best thing in the world. There is nothing that I'd rather do than to just sit and cuddle you. And even after more than six weeks, I still feel like the luckiest person in the world, getting to be your Mom. I love when you look at me and smile, or when I pick you up when you are upset and you calm down. I hope that I can always be that much of a comfort to you.
I love you so, so much little one!
Mommy
Friday, October 12, 2012
More successes
Well Ellie seems to be getting a bit more crabby at nights. It is crazy, two nights ago it was so easy to calm her down. Then, it is like a switch was flipped and no matter what we do, she is fussy. Such is life with babies, I suppose.
So, as an attempt to NOT go crazy, here are some successes lately:
- Made it through some bout with sore nipples. I'm still not sure why this came on all of a sudden, but it made Wednesday hell. And even when I think Ellie and I both wanted to give up, we didn't. Feeding is back to going well now.
- I'm up to a freezer breastmilk stash of 109.5 ounces! Seeing that increase steadily makes me breathe a sigh of relief.
- As of yesterday at the breastfeeding support group, Ellie is up to 8 pounds 7 ounces. I can't believe how big she's getting!
- The shower is magic. Put fussy Ellie in her bouncy seat and take a shower and she is OUT...at least for 15 minutes!
This weekend will be a big "test" with her (more about that later!) but right now, I'll focus on the positive!
So, as an attempt to NOT go crazy, here are some successes lately:
- Made it through some bout with sore nipples. I'm still not sure why this came on all of a sudden, but it made Wednesday hell. And even when I think Ellie and I both wanted to give up, we didn't. Feeding is back to going well now.
- I'm up to a freezer breastmilk stash of 109.5 ounces! Seeing that increase steadily makes me breathe a sigh of relief.
- As of yesterday at the breastfeeding support group, Ellie is up to 8 pounds 7 ounces. I can't believe how big she's getting!
- The shower is magic. Put fussy Ellie in her bouncy seat and take a shower and she is OUT...at least for 15 minutes!
This weekend will be a big "test" with her (more about that later!) but right now, I'll focus on the positive!
Monday, October 8, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
5 weeks
Dear little Ellie,
Happy 5 weeks old, sweetie! You are getting so big, I can't even believe it! Not only physically (although you were 8lbs 1oz at the breastfeeding support group this week!) but you are also so much more aware of your surrounds and you want to check everything out. In fact, you fight going to sleep because you don't want to miss anything!
It has been another crazy busy week! Last Saturday was the Apple Festival Parade. You hung out with us down at the start and all the cheer kids fawned over you! Then you went to Aunt Lori's to watch the parade. She took good care of you and you had lots of fun with her! You also met your Aunt Stephanie at the parade. She loved you, and it was so special for me and Daddy to see her with you.
We saw Aunt Lori again this week when we went to her house to make you some pretty hairbows. You slept almost the entire time, and Lori and I got LOTS of pretty bows made for you. I can't wait to see you in them.
You and I went out on an errand day too. I was nervous, but you did fantastic. We went to the bank, post office, farmer's market and breastfeeding group. I was feeling like Super Mommy, as you only cried in the breastfeeding group when I was undressing you to feed and you wanted to eat!
Right now you are in your bouncy seat, yelling at the birds, I love that you can see them and interact with your environment a little bit more. But more than that, I just love you to pieces. You are such an amazing little girl, and I am so lucky that I get to spend so much time with you.
I love you Ellie-bean!
Mommy
Happy 5 weeks old, sweetie! You are getting so big, I can't even believe it! Not only physically (although you were 8lbs 1oz at the breastfeeding support group this week!) but you are also so much more aware of your surrounds and you want to check everything out. In fact, you fight going to sleep because you don't want to miss anything!
It has been another crazy busy week! Last Saturday was the Apple Festival Parade. You hung out with us down at the start and all the cheer kids fawned over you! Then you went to Aunt Lori's to watch the parade. She took good care of you and you had lots of fun with her! You also met your Aunt Stephanie at the parade. She loved you, and it was so special for me and Daddy to see her with you.
We saw Aunt Lori again this week when we went to her house to make you some pretty hairbows. You slept almost the entire time, and Lori and I got LOTS of pretty bows made for you. I can't wait to see you in them.
You and I went out on an errand day too. I was nervous, but you did fantastic. We went to the bank, post office, farmer's market and breastfeeding group. I was feeling like Super Mommy, as you only cried in the breastfeeding group when I was undressing you to feed and you wanted to eat!
Right now you are in your bouncy seat, yelling at the birds, I love that you can see them and interact with your environment a little bit more. But more than that, I just love you to pieces. You are such an amazing little girl, and I am so lucky that I get to spend so much time with you.
I love you Ellie-bean!
Mommy
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Little successes
Like any Mommy, when Ellie is upset, I am upset. And when nothing I do helps calm her, that is the worst. So I think it is important to pay attention to the little successes along the way.
- I currently have 68.5 Oz of breastmilk frozen. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief having that buffer.
- I am not only in my pre-pregnancy clothes, I had to go out and buy new jeans last night. My old ones were too big.
- Ellie is growing like crazy. We're going to get weighed tomorrow.
That's all I've got for now. I'm definitely hoping to add more soon!
UPDATE 10/5:
I've just got to add...yesterday was a SuperMom Day. Seriously. Ellie and I went to the bank, post office, farmer's market and breastfeeding support group, all with minimal fussiness. That, in itself is a HUGE success, and a HUGE confidence booster for me being able to take her out by myself.
We got her weighed...8lbs 1oz! Way to go little baby bird! They weighed her twice to make sure, but were very impressed with such an awesome weight gain.
Oh, and most importantly, I'm getting to the point where I feel like I can soothe her pretty effectively when she gets fussy. I know it won't be perfect, but it is a LOT better. And I have to admit, I love being the person she wants when she is upset, and not just because I have her food!
- I currently have 68.5 Oz of breastmilk frozen. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief having that buffer.
- I am not only in my pre-pregnancy clothes, I had to go out and buy new jeans last night. My old ones were too big.
- Ellie is growing like crazy. We're going to get weighed tomorrow.
That's all I've got for now. I'm definitely hoping to add more soon!
UPDATE 10/5:
I've just got to add...yesterday was a SuperMom Day. Seriously. Ellie and I went to the bank, post office, farmer's market and breastfeeding support group, all with minimal fussiness. That, in itself is a HUGE success, and a HUGE confidence booster for me being able to take her out by myself.
We got her weighed...8lbs 1oz! Way to go little baby bird! They weighed her twice to make sure, but were very impressed with such an awesome weight gain.
Oh, and most importantly, I'm getting to the point where I feel like I can soothe her pretty effectively when she gets fussy. I know it won't be perfect, but it is a LOT better. And I have to admit, I love being the person she wants when she is upset, and not just because I have her food!
Monday, October 1, 2012
One month later...
It has been a month since Miss Ellorie joined us. I looked at Ryan yesterday, as he just got back in from taking Truff for his morning walk, and I was changing Ellie before we left for church and asked him what in the world we did with all our time before we had a puppy and a baby! I have no idea...but I love our crazy, hectic, noisy life.
In honor of the little one's one-month birthday, I've decided to make a list of things that I wish I could tell my one-month-ago self. Hopefully I can re-read this when/if we are blessed with kiddo number 2.
- Recovery from the C-section is easy-peasy. But don't be afraid to take pain meds if things start hurting.
- I do not need to have a panic attack about breastfeeding. My supply is fine. I do not need to spend hours googling different herbal remedies to help this.
- Breastfeeding is the best thing ever. I'm down about 17 pounds below my original weight. And I eat like a crazy person. Woot!
- Don't underestimate the importance of sleep. Ellie has always been an awesome sleeper, but the rare times she wasn't, going to bed at 8pm and letting Daddy take care of her for a couple hours was a lifesaver.
- Having my "rainbow baby" in my arms does not make the pain of the past sting any less, but it does make the struggle worth it.
- Having my "rainbow baby" in my arms makes me even more excited for others to have their "rainbow baby"
- It is okay to spend the first month doing nothing but staring at her in disbelief.
- I like other people better because of the way they love her.
- Ryan and I make a REALLY good team.
- Getting out for coffee/lunch/shopping/errands, etc. is a lifesaver! Planning these things is a must.
- Don't plan too much that every day is scheduled with stuff. Lazy days spend snuggling in jammies are needed too.
- Don't stress so much about not knowing what to do. The "mommy instinct" thing is real.
- Being a mommy is the best thing ever. Seriously. That is not just a cliche.
Happy One-month Birthday, Ellie-bean!
In honor of the little one's one-month birthday, I've decided to make a list of things that I wish I could tell my one-month-ago self. Hopefully I can re-read this when/if we are blessed with kiddo number 2.
- Recovery from the C-section is easy-peasy. But don't be afraid to take pain meds if things start hurting.
- I do not need to have a panic attack about breastfeeding. My supply is fine. I do not need to spend hours googling different herbal remedies to help this.
- Breastfeeding is the best thing ever. I'm down about 17 pounds below my original weight. And I eat like a crazy person. Woot!
- Don't underestimate the importance of sleep. Ellie has always been an awesome sleeper, but the rare times she wasn't, going to bed at 8pm and letting Daddy take care of her for a couple hours was a lifesaver.
- Having my "rainbow baby" in my arms does not make the pain of the past sting any less, but it does make the struggle worth it.
- Having my "rainbow baby" in my arms makes me even more excited for others to have their "rainbow baby"
- It is okay to spend the first month doing nothing but staring at her in disbelief.
- I like other people better because of the way they love her.
- Ryan and I make a REALLY good team.
- Getting out for coffee/lunch/shopping/errands, etc. is a lifesaver! Planning these things is a must.
- Don't plan too much that every day is scheduled with stuff. Lazy days spend snuggling in jammies are needed too.
- Don't stress so much about not knowing what to do. The "mommy instinct" thing is real.
- Being a mommy is the best thing ever. Seriously. That is not just a cliche.
Happy One-month Birthday, Ellie-bean!
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